Post 2 Now What Do We Do?

After Zach had confirmed it was David, the lady from the Coroners office handed him David’s cell phone.  She said it was the only thing they had found at the scene.   She began to tell us the story.  As she spoke every word seemed to cut thru me and the pain of just hearing her speak was so hard and hurt so deep.  I wanted her to stop talking; I didn’t want to hear any more.  But she just kept talking.

She said that David had been on his way home from the Gym and as he was entering the intersection a lady was sitting at the stoplight facing David.  She was turning left.  She didn’t see David or his lights when she started her turn.  In fact she only knew something was wrong when David hit her jeep.  She told us that David had hit his breaks, the bike went down and David hit the back corner panel of her car at full force.  I wanted to scream, the pain in my chest was so bad I couldn’t help but just blurt out that I thought I was going to be sick.  I wanted to but could not escape the fiery burn of the pain I was experiencing.  He had his helmet on, a tank top and a pair of shorts.  The only thing they found on the scene was his cell phone, no wallet or backpack or anything else, just the cell phone.  She explained that the lady driving the jeep was not drunk or impaired; she was a 69-year-old Grandma who was just on her way to the grocery store.  The women had stayed at the scene close to David the entire time.  Trish looked at me and said, we have to forgive her, we have to love her.  The interesting thing is, I knew she was right.  I expected to have feelings of anger or resentment or something bubble up.  But I just didn’t feel anything bad towards this woman at all.  Trish was right; we had to forgive and to only feel love.  To this day I am surprised how I have never had one negative thought about her, I have only felt compassion and love.  That moment was the beginning of a chain of what I will call Tender Mercies that would occur literally every single day.

The paramedics worked on David as he had no pulse and was not breathing all the way to the UMC medical center and once there he was pronounced dead.

At that point they still did not know who David was.  His cell phone had been ringing.  It was Miranda Stanton David’s girlfriend.  Prior to leaving the gym, they had been texting back and forth.  When he left the gym he said he would talk to her when he got home.  When he didn’t call she began to worry and started texting and then calling.  The coroner finally answered the phone.  They talked to Miranda (who lives in Houston, Texas) and asked whom she was, after she explained to them they told her what had happened and that David had been killed.  They asked about his next of kin and she told them about us.  They asked her not to say anything, as they would be contacting us personally.  She agreed.

The lady from the Coroner told us that David’s body would be released to a local funeral home in the next 48 hrs or so and that we needed to make other arrangements if we didn’t want to use that funeral home.  She gave us a pamphlet with all the information on it.  On the pamphlet was the name of the lead detective that would be handling the case and said we would need to give him a call.  She also told us that we had to make arrangements for David’s body to go to another funeral home if we didn’t want to have him stay at their default funeral home.  We would need to decide in the next day or so.  She stood up and told us how sorry she was and then she left.

What in the world had just happened?  How was I supposed to process all of what happened in about a 7 minute conversation.  This just couldn’t be happening.

I reached over and took Trish’s hand in mine.  We just sat and cried.  I felt that everything was just spinning out of control and knew I had to get a grip.  Trish looked at me and said “Greg we were so lucky to have David for 20 years, he was such a good boy, we were lucky to have him”.   I told Zach and Trish we needed to kneel down and have a family prayer.  The three of us knelt together and I offered the prayer.  I don’t remember exactly what I said, I just know I thanked the Lord for us having the opportunity to have David in our family and to help us and bless us in this terrible situation and to bless our family as I knew shortly I would have to tell them all the news.  We all felt comforted.

Now what do we do?  We sat there, just the three of us, it was quiet except for the crying and soft sobs.  What do you do next?

We decided we needed to call my parents first.  I got my cell phone and dialed the number.  My Dad answered the phone.  I said, “Dad, I have some terrible news, there was an accident and David was killed tonight”.  I heard my Dad say over and over again, “Oh no…Oh no, not David”.  My Mom was in the back she had heard what I said.  She began to cry and to say over and over, “No, no oh no”  My heart was in my throat.  I told them all we knew to that point.  I told them how much I loved them.  They would make flight arrangements and would fly from Nashville, to Las Vegas that very day.  Then I hung up.  It seemed so empty to me.  I had just called my parents and told them that our Son was killed.  It seemed like there should have been more to it.  It just didn’t seem real.

My next phone call was to our Bishop.  Bishop Wagner is the local ecclesiastical leader of our Ward.  Bishops in the LDS Church are part of the Church’s lay ministry.  They are not paid.  In fact Bishop Wagner is a dentist who is married and has children.  By that time it was 1:45am or so.  I told him what had happened and he immediately began to cry.  He said he would get dressed and be right over.  It was very instinctive and natural for me to make that phone call, I was glad it felt that way; it seemed like the first normal thing I had done.

We then decided to call each of the other children and tell them.  There are very few things I think about that affect me more then the memory of me calling each of my children to tell them their sweet baby brother was dead.  Their cries and their sobs on the phone are something I will never forget.  I wanted them to hear it from me.  I was their Father and news like this should come from me at least that is how I felt.   I knew with this phone call each of their lives would be changed forever.  Brooke would book a flight and be here by 1:00pm that same day.  The other kids would all come in the next day. I felt better knowing they would all be with us.

The Bishop came along with President Giles from our Stake Presidency.  They were dressed in white shirts and ties.  They were so kind and so considerate of us.  We told them what we knew to that point.  Trish being a seminary teacher would need someone to teach her class in just a few hours.  President Giles would later teach her class and take care of everything.  Bishop talked about next steps.  We explained that we had not woken up Hayley our youngest daughter (16) and told her.  I knew that once I woke her up that her life would change forever and that maybe I should just let her sleep a little longer prolonging the horrible news.  President Giles said, that if his Brother had been killed he would want to know about it right away.  He was right, Hayley and David were very close and she deserved to know.  I went into her room and woke her up.  I walked with her into David’s room and we sat on his bed.  I looked her in the eyes and told her that I had some very bad news to tell her.  I told her David had been in an accident and had been killed.  There are two things that I have been burned into my mind and that I cannot get out of my memory, ever.  The first is of the lady standing in our door way and her saying, “Mr. Maples, I am here because your son David was killed in an accident”.  The second is the look on Hayley’s face when I told her.  It was a look of horror mixed with disbelief and a childlike yearning that literally sent chills through my body.  She kept saying over and over, “Dad, that’s not funny, no it’s not true” I held her and told her it was true and that it would all be ok.  We went into the living room with Zach, Trish the Bishop and President Giles.  We told Hayley the story, as we knew it.  When we got to the part about the lady, she looked over at me and said, “Dad, we have to reach out to the lady, she’s going to be so sad, we have to reach out to her”.  I sat there looking at her in complete awe.  I knew that I was getting a glimpse not many Fathers would ever get into the real, true character of my daughter.  In that moment I couldn’t have been more proud of her.  I told her we would find a way to reach out to the lady and it would all be ok.

Before the Bishop and President Giles left, I asked if they would pray with us.  I asked President Giles if he would offer the prayer.  His prayer was sweet and comforting, I felt warm and we felt loved.  It was good, real good.  We thanked them both and then President Giles said something that jolted me.  He said, “Thank you for letting us be here during this very sacred time for your family”.  Sacred time for our family…  It seemed to put into context for me what was really happening.  This was a sacred moment; it would become one of the defining moments of our family.  I appreciated what he said.

President Giles and the Bishop left and once again we sat alone, just the four of us.  What do we do now?  We were all so empty, so confused and so hurt.  I remember getting up to walk into our bathroom.  All I could do is just cry out, “my boy, my sweet baby boy” It spilled out of me; the waves of emotion that came were so hard and so painful.  I just could not believe how deeply bad I felt.  I thought my heart was just going to burst.

Then I had this thought. Greg you need to get to the Temple.